We've all heard the tale of the bridesmaid that just isn't cutting it. She's not making the dress fittings and she's not coming to all of the things the other bridesmaids are attending... so it seems that she's cutting herself out. Touchy touchy subject...Well here's the question that came up with one of my girlfriends... "I am in a wedding and 'bride' doesn't want her cousin in it anymore because she can't make it to some of the functions because of money and distance. What do I tell her?"
Well... here's my first reaction to that. Sorry, you chose her you live with it. Why? Because 1. She lives in the city 3 hours from here and you knew that before you asked her to be an attendant, and 2. She's family. I will say this, if you are really just uncomfortable of her holding the title of one of your stand ups... then you need to have the conversation early on with her about what you feel her duties are and what expenses she will incur accepting that responsibility. Being a bridesmaid is not all about the dresses and the dancing. You have a job and that job is to support the bride and groom in their adventure of a wedding and new life together and there is money involved and there are appearances that you should make for the sake of SUPPORT. (That's a whole other topic in itself and we'll touch on that later...) So before you say you ask a bridesmaid to be an attendant give her the run down of her duties and explain that there is a cost associated with it and it's definitely OK to say "No" if you just can't afford it or you don't think that you can commit to something of that nature. We all want this to be a wonderful and memoriable day... kicking someone out at the last minute will definitely be cause for unwanted hurt feelings and drama.
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